CHEAP SHOTS Election Reflections and Campaign Regurgitation

CHEAP SHOTS Election Reflections and Campaign Regurgitation

Rick Fritz spent a lot of time and a lot of the money of defense attorneys and his Good Old Boy supporters reminding voters in 2022 what a classy, moral, and intelligent guy he was in his campaign for reelection.

Fritz not only lost, but Jaymi Sterling also crushed him.

Circuit Court Judge Karen Abrams whipped Fritz in the 2004 Republican Primary when he challenged her for the seat on the bench that year. Abrams, a Democrat, was required to file in both the GOP and Democratic Primaries; that is how the Maryland law is set up for judicial elections. Unaffiliated, independent, and other voters don’t get any say at all in the election for Judge when it comes to the primaries. One must be signed up as a card-carrying Republican or Democrat in order to vote in that party’s primary election.

Will Fritz have to give up his shotgun? After all, he has now been beaten twice by women. Fritz can run again; even four years from now, when he can run to take back his job as prosecutor, he will be younger than that idiot Joe Biden is now.

Why did Jaymi Sterling win? Simple, she got more votes.

Sterling worked hard to get Democrats and unaffiliated voters to change to Republican so they could support her in the GOP primary. Approximately one thousand Democrats changed over, and about three hundred unaffiliated made the switch. With over 8,601 voters casting ballots for Sterling and about 3,500 for Fritz, the tally shows that a majority of Republicans voted to send the serial plea-dealing junket-loving skunk off to a life of full-time hunting in the fields of streams of the Mother County of Maryland.

Will Fritz find the funds in his office accounts to fit in one last fling at Ocean City for all of the prosecutors who will soon be looking for work? Imagine the fun in the sun that the passel of overpaid and underworked prosecutors can have in Ocean City.

Sleuths Lyle Long and Andy Cusick can investigate the best buffets, while Teddy Weiner can ponder how to bait a hook on the fishing pier. It’s been a while since Teddy hooked on anything more than the latest computer game during his time as a top prosecutor. All of this is on the taxpayer’s dime.

How many of the prosecutors in the stable will find any oats in their buckets next January? Only The Shadow knows.

On election night, Fritz failed to be a gentleman, a scholar, and a class act and called Jaymi Sterling to congratulate her on her hard-won victory.  

Fritz has always put a price on honor and valor, as shown in his pricey collection of Civil War swords that he mounted on his office wall. However, on election night, he was neither an Officer of the Court nor a Gentleman. Fritz never called Jaymi Sterling. Fritz can’t even use email, so the text message sent to Sterling must have come from someone else using his phone.

Fritz didn’t give a speech on YouTube and put it on his States Attorney Official Page – the same one he assigned staffer to clear out years’ worth of photos and posts about Sterling before Election Day. That was why you never heard Fritz’s Concession Speech – he never gave one.

HEWITT’S USED MONEY SALE

The following account of the St. Mary’s Commissioners’ back-room secret and private meeting took place on August 23, 2022, and was secretly recorded. It violates Maryland’s Wiretap Law to record a person without their consent. Thus, it is illegal for you to read any further. You have been warned – continue at your own risk. Still here? Living risky, huh?

“Who the hell told The Rag about my plan to give a deal to the Hollywood Rescue Squad?” said Hewitt. “They deserved to be able to make a few bucks after that Dean kid robbed them for the property; he should have donated to them in the first place. Now that we have had the backroom’s sanctity violated, our closed sessions have been revealed, and it is impossible for us to trust one another again.”

“You blab about our secret meetings when it suits you; you carry tales out to the public to whip them up on issues you like, such as a new swimming pool in the north end, another YMCA, and letting Bubby Knott build a racetrack at Callaway,” retorted John O’Connor.

“I have never told anyone about what takes place back here,” said Randy Guy. “When I get home, my wife is always asking me, and I pull out that stuff they give me to read at the meetings, and I read it to her, but she gets mad at me and says I have no mind of my own, I should be able to talk without a script. I just don’t remember or even understand what you all talk about, so don’t blame me.”

“People are saying that we are on the take with all that Pot Factory stuff,” said Eric. “Everyone knows I am bad at playing cards, can’t figure out how to use a Power Ball ticket, and even use the wrong coin for a scratch-off. I am not the least bit clever, so I am not guilty. I can’t even cheat at cards, even Fish.”

“Our security needs to be updated, and Bob Kelly is just the guy to do it; he should come in here and sweep this meeting room, and I know all about security; that is my life’s work,” said Todd Morgan.

“Well, well, well, interesting, you should say that as your Fairy God Mother Francy seems to be in on all of our secrets now, she was even out in the meeting room today giving you signals with that earpiece you had on today. I saw her whisper into her bracelet, and then you would jerk your head, and soon you would be making a motion or hollering an objection,” snidely remarked Hewitt. “We need to get Kelly to sweep each person entering this room; that means all of you commissioners, except me, of course, because I’m not dumb enough to tell on myself.”

“Sure, you are,” said O’Connor. “I saw that interview you did with The Rag, you were going at it for nearly an hour, and you even said what you had for breakfast on May 2, 1962.”

“Mike, how do you remember what you had for breakfast that far back,” asked Randy. “I can’t remember what I had for lunch. I know Carolyn will ask me; maybe I should take a photo of my lunch with my phone. Do you think that would work?”

“Depends.” Said Hewitt.

“No, I’m not using Depends yet, but I know Carolyn has been stocking up on them as she says that is the next step for me.”

“No, you bozo, I meant that it depends on what you have for lunch. You might want to take a photo of someone’s salad and show that to her, and you won’t get a butt-whipping for eating a triple-decker burger at Wendy’s.”

“We have to hurry up on putting the Juice in the Town Centers zoning rule, a lot of money is riding on us getting that done, and all of the attention of the public is on the stupid Pot Factory right now, so no one will notice what is being done for the real money,” said Hewitt. “Let’s knock off this bickering and get ‘er done.”

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