3 am in the White House

3 am in the White House

3 am at WH-Ring “Hey Big Guy, I gave the wrong laundry to China, I need to stop by the garage and swap out a box of papers, they said instead of secrets, it was the Vette warranty papers.” “Hunter, Joe is in dreamland. I told you to never call here again. I mean it, you crack-head, don’t bother your dad.”

3 am at WH-RING “This is Brandon” “Gimme the damn phone Joe, Hunter I told you we are not going to keep Navy for you this weekend, your father thinks she is a voter who needs to be treated affectionately. Take care of your own damn kid.”

3 am at WH-RING “Hey Pedo Pete, I wanna borrow the Vette, got a date with Fang Fang”  Dr. Jill: “Gimme the damn phone Joe, Hunter, we can’t find the keys to the Vette, where did you put them? some damn fed named Hur wants the car”

3 am at WH- RING “Hellllooo, this is Brandon. Is this Kamalllaa?” “Gimme the phone Joe, your name is NOT Brandon.” “Jill, Hunter here, I want to borrow AFOne for a trip to Asia for about a week.” “No, and do not call here again, I won’t give up this gig as FLOTUS because of you, CrackSon.”

3 am at WH- RING “Big Guy, I gotta call from XI, he wants me to come over for a big Christmas, can you watch my kid, it’s my turn to have the baby.” “Gimme the phone, Joe. Hunter, you offered crack to Macron’s wife at the state dinner; and called him Macaroon?”

3 am at WH- RING “Hey, Man, who’s calling?” “Your pal Zelensky in Kyiv.” “Hunter tells me you got the cash okay, when do we get our cut?” “Tell Hunter our courier will meet him at the usual place in Paris.” “Joe, gimme the damn phone – Zel, quit calling here, I mean it.”

3 am at WH – RING “Hunter, I told you Jill is ticked off about all your crooked stuff and it might cost her being First Lady. Me, I’m sure you’ll gonna be ok, but Mayor Pete is after my job. Hunter? Is that you? Kamala? NO, DAMMIT, I’m not dead yet. Quit calling here.” “Gimme the phone Joe.” “You skank, Kamala, quit calling!”

3 am at WH – RING “Helllooo, this is Joe’s Place.” “Gimme the damn phone, Joe.” “This better not be Kamala again, ‘cause I guess you got your answer, he’s not dead yet.” “Jill, this is Pete.” “Who?” “Secretary of Trans.” “We have a cabinet job for transvestites?”  “Transportation.” “I can’t keep track of all the weirdos. Whadda ya want? IIt’s3 am.”

3 am at WH – RING “Hello, er, pardon…” “Hey, Pedo Pete, they’re comin’ to get me and I want a pardon just like you gave Choc & Chip” “I can’t do that, you’re my son.” “Big Guy, I have all Trump needs to nail your butt to the front door of the White House.” “Here, talk to Jill.”

3 am at WH – RING “Joe, this is John Kerry” “Who, I love your quips on TV Sen. Kennedy.” “No, Joe, remember we served in the Senate together before I ran for President. KERRY.” “You got in that catsup money, right, good move. Hunts?” “No, Heinz.” “Oh, I remember him too. Where is he now?”

3 am at WH – RING – “This is Mr. President…” “Gimme the phone, Joe, go back to sleep.” What was the big deal today, I uh thought there was gonna be a party!” “Hunter, your daughter got married today on the South Lawn, you fool, where were you?” “Did you get any photos? I hadda date at the Four Seasons, hot stuff, let me talk to Pedo Pete”

3 am at WH – RING “Trump is back on Twitter” “who? Thump? I want Rocky Road and one scoop of Manilla.” “Gimmie the phone and go back to sleep.” “This is Dr. Jill, what the hell are you talking about?” “Musk put Trump back on Twitter.” “There goes the neighborhood.”

3 am at WH – RING: “Hullow, um…who is this? Are you Hunter or Jill?” “Sir, CBS just quit Twitter due to Musk preparing to allow Trump back.” “Gimme the phone Joe.” “Jill, what is CBS, is that where we watch I Love Lucy and Danny Thomas, I really love those shows, especially when Lucy is in the shower…” “Who cares, we haven’t watched CBS since Rather was fired.”

3 am at WH – RING POTUS: “I pushed the red button, just like Zelensky told me I should on CNN.” FLOTUS: “Gimme the damn phone, Joe; he pushed the button for the butler to bring him ice cream.” MILLEY: “Okay, I’ll call my counterpart in Moscow.”

3 am in WH: RING “Is this the Ruskie with the great biceps?” “This is Gen. Miley for the FLOTUS” “Jill, it’s for you.” “Now what?” “XI just landed troops on Taiwan” “What day will the parade be? We want to be there to congratulate XI on his new territory.” “I’ll find out.”

3 am in WH: RING “This is the, uh, pres…uh, Jill, who am I again?” “Gimme the phone; what is it?” “This is Gen. Miley” “Are they out of money already?” “Zelensky is crying he will go on CNN” “Okay, wire him $10 million.” “It’s not enough” “Call SBF in the Bahamas.”

3 am at the WH: RING “Whadda mean there are 50 busloads of illegal aliens from the southern border sent by Abbott to circle the White House?” “They all want to see the President.” “Joe is asleep. Give ’em phones and book hotel rooms for them.” “We already did, but they won’t leave.”

3 am in the WH: RING “Who is it, Jill?” “Go back to sleep, Joe. Look, Hunter, I told you ya can’t be put back in his will, and I told DOJ to skin your hide if you cook up a deal with the Saudis. You need to go back on crack and stop calling here.”

3 am in the WH: RING “I’ve got it, Joe.” “Tell Poland I don’t give a damn; we’re invested in Ukraine, and we can’t have Putin shutting down shipping again.” “Was that Gen. Austin again? I think he really likes me, Jill.” “No, it was Hillary, what a witch. She thinks she’s boss.”

3 am in the WH: RING “Who is it dear?” “Go back to sleep Joe; I need to up your meds.” “Kamala, no, he’s not dead yet, and even if he were, I would just pump him with Botox and keep on running things just like Edith Wilson did. Now stop calling every night.”

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