Bank robber Paul Bernard Jones went for fast cash, wasn’t too fleet of foot; soon will cool off in Federal Prison for up to seven years

Bank robber Paul Bernard Jones went for fast cash, wasn’t too fleet of foot; soon will cool off in Federal Prison for up to seven …

DWI HIT PARADE: Lights Out for Robert Hamilton when he got a light pole in one along with DUI and drug charges

Maryland State Police report that on Jan. 29, 2019 at 7:59 pm, a 2017 Kia Optima piloted by an alleged boozing bozo wrecked into a utility pole, winning the driver a trip to the Wicomico County Jail.

HEROIN HIGHWAY TO HELL – Junkie Dad Brandon Michael Gohl Shoots Up with Heroin and Passes Out with Toddler in Back Seat; Child Called Mom on Phone; Gohl admits he overdosed with his child in his vehicle, implores others to go to rehab

A trooper located the vehicle and observed two males passed out inside of it. The trooper then saw the child, who was in the back seat of the truck screaming and crying, and immediately removed him from the vehicle. Gohl was arrested at the scene.

MURDER USA: Jordan Radway and Christian Roberts were shot dead before their ride crashed into parked cars

Police say that their preliminary investigation revealed that the two dead men had been filled with lead from gunshot wounds. The men have been identified as Jordan Alexander Radway, 23, 5708 Huckburn Court, Laurel, Md., and Christian Deon Roberts, 24, of 3308 Kilkenny Street, Silver Spring, Md.

Packing Alien & Distressed Crabmeat as Fresh Blue Crab Under USA Label Illegally Lands Crab King James R. Casey 4-Year Vacation in Federal Slammer

Casey directed that his workers falsely labeled at least 397,917 pounds of crab meat, with a retail value in the millions of dollars, according to prosecutors. The illegal practice went on from at least 2012 through 2015. It was sold in grocery stores like Harris Teeter and Farm Fresh.