SOUTHERN MARYLAND POLICE BEAT: Hey Big Bertha, Black Friday is Calling Your Name!

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SOUTHERN MARYLAND POLICE BEAT: Hey Big Bertha, Black Friday is Calling Your Name!


She loves to go a-shoplifting,

Along the Walmart rack,

And as she goes, she loves to fill,

Her knapsack on her back!

CALIFORNIA, MD. – Why would an obviously and overwhelmingly attractive and sterling specimen of the female gender feel it necessary to commit a heist of “beauty products” from Walmart?

According to St. Mary’s Sheriff Tim Cameron, deputies are seeking the identity of a woman who posed for glamour photos as she trotted past security cameras on her way to the Miss America pageant.

Police say that on November 7, 2018, at the Walmart store, located on Miramar Way in California, Maryland, the epitome of style and a stellar example of American womanhood placed numerous beauty products in two backpacks, and beat feet out of the store without purchasing the items.

While it is possible that the perpetrator of two sacks of cosmetic concealment was purloining the supplies for resale to others for their own enhancing of particular feminine attributes, the alleged culprit might have been simply carrying out a plan to scope out Walmart security in preparation for really big hauls on Thanksgiving Day and Black Friday in order to pull off the shoplifting bonanza of the century.

Anyone with information on the identity of the individual pictured is asked to contact St. Mary’s Sheriff Deputy Andrew Budd at (301) 475-4200 extension *8013, or by email at

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